Reflections on the Joys of NOT being Mormon

As Jeffrey talked about in his previous post, some of the Mormon Rules are known as the "Word of Wisdom" which among other things forbids the consumption of coffee, tea and alcohol as well as tobacco. I cannot argue with the tobacco part; it’s pretty clear to me and many others that smoking is pretty much self-destructive. Though I certainly respect someone’s right to choose to do so if that’s what they want to do. Now I’d like to address that while alcoholism is certainly a very real and dangerous thing, not everyone who consumes alcohol is or becomes an alcoholic. I wholeheartedly agree with avoiding alcohol for anyone who has a problem with it, but for those who don’t I think moderation is the key. The funny thing about Mormons is they actually preach moderation often, yet don’t really believe it, as shown in their prohibiting alcohol among other things. The hubby and I live in Northern California and are fortunate enough to enjoy the wine country here. We both really enjoy wine and the occasional cocktail. We are very moderate drinkers, in fact I’d say we’re more in the “light” category. Since leaving the Mormons and making our own decisions, one of which was to consume alcohol, it’s ironic to us to hear news reports all the time about some of the health benefits of wine, as well as coffee and of course tea, which has been known for quite some time, yet Mormons choose to ignore it and prohibit it anyway. We also love our coffee and honestly, it’s one of those “simple pleasures” in life. When I have my morning cup of coffee, I feel joy for being “allowed” to do so after years of being forbidden. It’s one of those small, simple things, but when it’s added to a long list of “no-no’s” can really make a person feel deprived. Of course I know that large amounts of caffeine are not good for a person, but again, we’re talking about moderation here. (Oh, and speaking of things that really aren’t good for you, I loved the comment in Jeffrey’s last post about how technically speaking, Mormons really aren’t to be consuming much if any meat yet that mandate goes completely ignored.) The mainstream, non-denominational and non-creepy church we now attend actually has a coffee cart so folks can enjoy a cup of coffee or even a mocha or latte while they listen to the service. Now if Mormons did this I bet they’d boost their attendance! Or at least help members stay awake for the three hour service.


  1. ummm...i don't know you, but to me it seems like you guys have nothing better to do with yourself than bash the mormon church. if you are not a member and want nothing to do with the church than why do you give so much of your time to making a blog about it. I think it is pretty crazy and to me, it sounds like you guys are either missing going to the lds church or you are feeling so guilty about something that all you can do now is bash it! many people do things in life that "are not what you are supposed to be doing according to the church you go to," so they leave that church and find a church that wont make them feel guilty about what they are doing. sorry...but that sounds like you guys. why don't you find something better to do. i can think of so many better things to write a blog about. waste of time in my opinion and it makes you look super guilty about something.

  2. As an ex-mormon myself I can appreciate this blog. There is a great benefit in reflecting on and analyzing what one went through while under the thumb of Mormonism. It's called processing, and it allows one to move on. Do I miss aspects of being involved with Mormonism? Yes, most certainly, few things are black and white.

    I find blogs like this helpful. If you only listen to your leaders and inner circle, you'll miss understanding what being involved in that organization was like from another perspective.

  3. To the first comment...
    WHO are YOU to say they are guilty about something? I didn't know the name "Anonymous" meant you turned into God. Oh no. This couple drank WINE. How AWFUL.
    I'm dating a Mormon. I am not mormon. Similarly, like above, his Mormon parents give me the guilt trip about EVERYTHING.
    I apologize that all people are different and don't share your belief. Welcome to the world.

  4. Also to the first comment... That's exactly what the Church teaches you to say isn't it? It would never occur to you that different people are ALLOWED to have different perspectives... of course not, because when the prophet speaks, the thinking has been done... right? Don't you have a family home evening to plan or something? I'm sure the Church would frown upon your naughty explorations of anything that isn't LDS sanctified reading...

  5. Babs, are you angry? Me too. After 20 years I want my money back! Although I do seem to have more spare time these days. Hoping we all lose the bitterness.

  6. Anonymous, yes, I might be just a smidgen. LoL.

  7. Also to the first commenter:
    I don't know about you, but it seems to me that you have nothing better to do with yourself than to bash someone for writing about their personal experience of leaving the church. From what I have read, the authors are very respectful of others who believe differently, much unlike yourself.
    You ask why the authors spend so much time writing a blog about it. I can't speak for them, but I imagine their blog is an important part of their recovery process. I don't expect you to understand this, but when someone realizes that their belief system, something they have dedicated their entire life to, is based on a giant tangle of lies, it feels like the whole world is collapsing. The resulting separation from their friends and family is real and terribly painful. It is extremely traumatizing and the recovery is a long and difficult process. This blog seems to be part of that process. You don't have to read it, but you should allow them the freedom to speak their mind.


No, we aren't Mormon any longer and don't follow "their" rules, but we really appreciate comments that don't contain swearing. Thank you.