Response to a commenter on the Mormon Rules post

Oh good, our first negative comment! This just in from “peytonorange”:

“this is soooooooo not the rules of mormons. you act like they are the most strict, punished people. They're not. And HECK NO! of course they can interact with other people other than mormons. And young men dont HAVE to go on missions and young women dont HAVE to marry the returned missionaries. You only wear garments after your married, not the first time you go to the temple. And no, you dont have to have kids right away. And no, you dont have to preach to everyone you see. And so what, if they dont drink coffee or alcohol. Nothing is wrong with that. you have this whole thing wrong. Everything. So i suggest that you find the right information and stop critisizing them.”

Okay “Peyton”, I’ll address your claims one by one. First I’d like to state that you seem to think we don’t know what we’re talking about, as if we are people who just decided to start writing a blog about “those crazy Mormons and their beliefs”. In case you didn’t read much of this blog, we are both former Mormons who both went to the temple, had a temple marriage and served a mission as well as have a combined total of forty three years Mormon experience. So yes, we know what we are talking about.

Interacting with people other than Mormons:

Mormons are counseled not to date non-members (see quotes below.) Mormons are also told not to associate with apostates, meaning former Mormons. Bishops and General Authorities make it clear to the general membership that members’ associations should be within their own faith.

Young men going on missions:

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, young men are commanded to go on a mission when they turn 19.  Spencer W. Kimball said, “Every young man should serve a mission. It is not an option; it is your obligation”

(Church News, October 9, 1983).

“It is a duty for young men, ages 19-27 who are able, to serve as full-time missionaries.” link

“If you serve a mission faithfully and well, you will be a better husband, you will be a better father, you will be a better student, a better worker in your chosen vocation. Love is of the essence of this missionary work. Selflessness is of its very nature. Self-discipline is its requirement. Prayer opens its reservoir of power.

And so, my dear young brethren, resolve within your hearts today to include in the program of your lives service in the harvest field of the Lord as a missionary of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.”

(Gordon B. Hinckley, “Of Missions, Temples, and Stewardship,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 51)

Women should marry returned missionaries:

“Remember, young women, the importance of proper dating. President Kimball gave some wise counsel on this subject:

“Clearly, right marriage begins with right dating. … Therefore, this warning comes with great emphasis. Do not take the chance of dating nonmembers, or members who are untrained and faithless. A girl may say, ‘Oh, I do not intend to marry this person. It is just a “fun” date.’ But one cannot afford to take a chance on falling in love with someone who may never accept the gospel” (The Miracle of Forgiveness, pp. 241–42).

Our Heavenly Father wants you to date young men who are faithful members of the Church, who will be worthy to take you to the temple and be married the Lord’s way. There will be a new spirit in Zion when the young women will say to their boyfriends, “If you cannot get a temple recommend, then I am not about to tie my life to you, even for mortality!” And the young returned missionary will say to his girlfriend, “I am sorry, but as much as I love you, I will not marry out of the holy temple.”

Avoid steady dating with a young man prior to the time of his mission call. If your relationship with him is more casual, then he can make that decision to serve more easily and also can concentrate his full energies on his missionary work instead of the girlfriend back home. And after he returns honorably from his mission, he will be a better husband and father and priesthood holder, having first served a full-time mission.”

To the Young Women of the Church, President Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign, November 1986  link

Wearing the special underwear (aka “garments”):

When you first go to the temple, you start wearing the underwear from that day on, it’s part of the endowment session. I’m not sure where you got the notion that you only wear garments after marriage because that is false and in fact any temple going Mormon can clarify that for you. All missionaries wear the garments, as they have been to the temple prior to their mission. Perhaps you were confused because for a woman, she might not go to the temple until she marries (this is common) and thus in this case, she would not begin wearing garments until married.

Having kids right away:

It’s a known fact that Mormons are not only encouraged to marry young but to start their family right away and not wait until they’ve completed school, landed a job, bought a house, etc. etc. Mormon “General Authorities” as they are called, have stated in addresses to the members on numerous occasions that they are not to wait or put off having children.

“Don't put off having children, LDS Church apostle tells students”

Monday, February 7, 2005

PROVO — College students should not put off creating families until they have completed all of their studies, an LDS Church apostle said Sunday...

Using examples from his life, Elder Nelson, a surgeon and medical researcher, said he and his wife struggled financially early in his career while he earned medical degrees. By the time he set up his practice his wife had given birth to five of their 10 children...

He urged his listeners to seek first to follow the teachings of the church before seeking wealth, which includes the commandment to create families...


~ and ~

“Do not postpone the blessings of honorable parenthood following marriage. When God said it was our responsibility to multiply and replenish the earth, that marriage was primarily for that purpose, He didn't insert any provisions…The undue postponement of parenthood is bound to bring disappointment and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Yes, of course, one can always find excuses. The young husband is going through school. I know how difficult it is. I remember our first year of married life on seventy dollars a month for both of us. I thank the Lord for my noble companion and her fervent determination to put first things first. It thrills me to witness young couples where the husband is struggling through medical school or dental school or some other school and they have the courage and strength and the faith to know that in some way the God of Heaven will assist them if they do their duty and have their families…” Young mothers and fathers, with all my heart I counsel you not to postpone having your children, being co-creators with our Father in Heaven. Do not use the reasoning of the world, such as, "We will wait until we can better afford having children, until we are more secure, until John has completed his education, until he has a better paying job, until we have a larger home, until we have obtained a few of the material conveniences," and on and on. This is the reasoning of the world and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Mothers who enjoy good health, have your children and have them early. (Ezra Taft Benson, Teachings of ETB, p. 539-543)

Preaching to everyone:

Mormons are told “every member a missionary” meaning, they are expected to talk about their religion to others and encourage them to join as well.

“As you prayerfully seek and cultivate missionary opportunities in your daily activities, you will find many ways to serve. They include helping to find, convert, and retain new members. The stake or full-time missionaries can teach you how to do that.”

From: Why Every Member a Missionary? Elder Richard G. Scott Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles  link

Drinking coffee and alcohol:

There is nothing wrong with choosing not to drink coffee or alcohol, and in fact for those with a problem with alcohol they absolutely should avoid it which we’ve stated in previous posts. However, there is also nothing wrong with choosing to drink coffee and or alcohol when done so in moderation. The concept of moderation is often discussed in Mormonism however Mormons don’t actually subscribe to this theory since they instead prohibit things altogether rather than allowing the member to use their own judgment and actually practice moderation. Our comment is meant to state the ridiculousness of being told what a person can and cannot drink.

As to the claim that we are criticizing, quite the contrary, we simply stated facts. So Peyton, please wake up and smell the coffee.


  1. Peytonorange, I'd like to recommend a study of cognative disonnance. Your brain is so programmed, conditioned and indocgrinated to believe in the Mormon dogma, that you are unable to even consider the truthfulness of the facts as presented. But if you will awake and arouse your faculties (your brain), even to experiment upon these words, and exercise a particle of faith, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this work in your brain even until you believe in a manner that you can give place for a portion of these words! If it sounds familiar, it should. It can work both ways Peytonorange, and so I would encourage you to consider both points of view before you condemn the messenger.

  2. Peyton, you're really showing your ignorance. Every devoted mormon knows that there are MANY unwritten rules and underlying pressure in the church. Just try deciding NOT to go on a mission!! Or wanting to date a nice "Christian" girl! WHOA!! (Hmmm...if we're all Christians, what's the big deal??) And for a church who claims to emphasize families, etc. whay then, if a member of an lds family has a true "born again" experience resulting in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ outside the mormon church, their lds family shuns them and treats them as if they were dead! Not too "Christian", I'd say. I cannot begin to go into all the pain mormonism has caused me. And no, its not the people, its the false doctrine! I choose to leave it all behind me. I have found the TRUTH and the truth has set me FREE! Praise God!

  3. all I have to say about all of this foolishness is that if you were a mormon for so long, where did you go wrong?? I hope that one day you can realize that the adversary has taken hold of you and you truely need to remember the covenants that you made in the temple and always remember that it is not to late to turn around. Heavenly Father will never give up on you. God bless you, I will be praying for you to Remember Who You Are...

  4. As far as I can tell, all of the references above are legitimate. As a "mormon", I agree with every single one of them. Yes we have a more strict culture than most, yes we try to date and marry within our own faith, and yes we abstain from things we are told not to. Be as sarcastic and belittling as you please, but you won't find a more industrial, loving, and successful people on the planet. It is because we go "against the grain" that we are strong and have high will-power. Look at Christ's time, were his teachings accepted by the masses? No! He taught a higher law, it required going against what most people accepted. If you aren't abstaining from a lot of the things of the world, you aren't showing faith. That's why I'm a mormon, because the rules I live by show my devotion to God over my devotion to society's "fun" or my personal cravings. We are weird and different, and that's why we're right!

  5. To the post above me. I am no longer a Mormon but was raised in the church. Maybe where you come from all mormons are nice people but back in Gore Oklahoma they are liars and self rightous hypocrites. They will spread rumors and lies about their own family members. They pick and choose who they will excommunicate, even among people who have commited the same no no's against the church. Also they refuse to leave you alone after being asked politely to do so. Also yes they do make up rules as they go along. A friend of mine who also used to be a mormon sent me the following link. It says you should empty your bladder often so that you won't want to masturbate. Any religion that tells you when to piss is a cult. If you don't like to hear that tough.


No, we aren't Mormon any longer and don't follow "their" rules, but we really appreciate comments that don't contain swearing. Thank you.