Women in the Mormon Church

When I think back to my years spent in the Mormon church there were so many obvious incidences that would cause any normal, thinking person to pause and consider whether or not being in this religion was really a good idea, let alone thinking it’s a “true” church. One such instance was when I was involved with some of the other women at church with a job (aka “calling”) in the Young Women’s organization. While we were all sitting around one day working on a project I asked something I had always wondered about; why does this church fully support and encourage the young men to join and be involved in the Boy Scouts, but yet they don’t do the same for the young women and the Girl Scouts? The answer I was given went something like this; “Oh, that’s because the Girl Scouts teach the girls to grow up to b e strong, independent women and tell them they can have any career they want.” I sat stunned for a moment and then shot back with; “And the problem is….?” Wow. When I heard that it really struck a nerve. I mean, to even think that a group of people who supposedly stand for good would consider the overall nature of girls being taught to be strong women and that they can, if they choose, have a career as being a negative is beyond belief. And you know, the funny thing is I am a stay at home mom myself. Through I have worked a good deal of my life in prior years, I never really had a career and in fact wished I had been encouraged to. I was never a Girl Scout, but I wish I had been. If I had a daughter I would absolutely want her to fulfill whatever professional goal she felt compelled to do and if her choice was to be a stay at home mom that’s ok, too, but I would want her to know the choice was hers and no one was going to pigeon hole her into a role that she did not feel suited for. Although I did not grow up Mormon, I did join at a young age and I’m definitely not thrilled with where that has put me today in terms of some aspects of my life, and this is one of them. I married at a young age, put a husband through school so he could get his degree and earn good money and then had a child young and stayed home. I never had the opportunity to obtain any schooling which would enable me to have a career of some sort. Although today I am happy with my life overall including my current choice to be a stay at home mom as I now have a little one, I wish I had other options for the future. When I look back and see how being part of this organization has negatively affected my life in so many areas and continues to this day it definitely gets to me. There are various negative things, I think especially as a woman, I can attribute to having been involved in this religion. I am of course happy to be out now, but the fallout from the damage continues.

Please let me hear from you if you have stories you’d like to share along these lines.

4 comments:

  1. I find your blog so interesting! I attended the church with a friend for several months before deciding (with much credit to my husband for reasoning with me) that something wasn't right. I always felt like there were "secrets" that I wasn't let in on. Then when I told my "friend" that it wasn't the right choice for my family, I never heard from her again! It really was just a confirmation to me that a church that encourages people not to associate with anyone else outside their religion is not the church for me. I didn't even know about the garments!! (I knew there were things they weren't telling me!!) Do you mind posting why the women wear special garments? Again, this blog is really interesting and affirming to me. Thanks for the honesty!

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  2. OOOO...pick me I have stories....LoL
    I am a 45 y.o. previously very active, raised in the LDS church, woman. I am the oldest of 9 kids, as I posted in the "Large Families" blog. I never thought I was smart. I graduated from high school with a B average, but not from Seminary as I was so behind in school I "couldn't" take it (seminary) my SR. year...not that I was all broken up, but my parents were. I was always saying during HS that I wanted to be a cosmetologist, or a Interior Decorator(which I found I sucked at..LOL). I was also very interested in science, nursing, physiology, and crime. I just thought I was not smart enough or strong enough for any of that. So in May 1982 when I graduated, I went to work for my dad, no one said hey, daughter would you like to go to this cosmetology school or check in to this or that, that (schools were not in to that like now or at least I never knew about that).So I just figured I'd party for the summer and work, and see what happened...maybe save money...buy a car and move out...bla bla...fantasies .. with the money I made @ 2.10 an hr...HA HA...
    Well one day my Dad, said hey your friend C. is going to R college just up the road, would you like to go and be her roommate..well OK I say...great...I packed my stuff, and went to the city up the street. Got in the dorm and met my roomies. That was it. No tour, no schedule making (I didn't even know I had to do that)just, we'll see you on the weekends or holidays)we got other kids to raise, you are at one of the Lord's schools so you'll be fine...bla bla...
    I was not disciplined, I didn't go to bed at night, I slept all day, I didn't go to class, I failed my first year of college, but I DID met my future ex husband!!!! I loved the boy I met, perfectly cute and just rebellious enough for me. Well, being at the Lord's school he some how found God and decided to go on a mission. My parent's LOVED him...they wanted us to get married. After the future ex left for his mission I started dated my High School love...of course Satan had sent him...to distract me from fut. ex and my dad wondered if I wanted to spend some time in Mexico with his old Mission comps family...I say OK fun...so I go, I did choose to stay for the 18 mos fut. ex was out. I came home when he came home, and we got engaged and got married. Do you see any dating or falling in love with some one or making sure fut. ex and I were in love or good for each other? NO!!! It just was, the way I thought it was supposed to be period. I was old though 21 he was 23...can you imagine? We started a family soon after. I had decided that I would not set a number of kids just an age limit...35. I worked, fut. ex went to school. I was almost 25 when the oldest was born and we were on the was to happy Mormon Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous. Oh did I say that I wanted to get married in one temple, but my dad wanted me to get married in another, so guess where I got married...yup...the one my dad did...I know I amaze myself at the stupidity. Ended up with 5 kids, last child was "HIS" he wanted one more not me...he begged, and I gave in. My boy was born 16 wks early and who spent all the time with him ME!!! NOT HIM!!!
    So I thought I would love going to nursing school after little boy was born (great NICU experience). So I went to college, just figured it all out and went to school, while juggling the demands of 5 kids, apart time job, busy career man..and demanding church. I graduated in 2005 and started my nursing career, I was just too busy for fut. ex. I didn't schedule around him anymore, I expected his assistance...he was not happy. He was important,his job, his important church calling,prominent place in the community,etc.

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  3. We were divorced in 2007. My kids live with him, because I wore out, and HE likes to be the best and the winner, so he is. See what happens when we (women/girls)don't get an education, and we don't talk about what women can do, and we think that marrying the guy our dad likes in the place our dad likes is what we are supposed to do. See what happens when raising just 4 kids isn't enough, when we have to have just 1 more,and see what happens to kids when it all falls apart??? And see what happens to the faithful that say, but why can't I live with my beautiful, sweet, handicapped boy, I worked hard, I love him, I love the others....why does this have to be so difficult...why would God say his mom wasn't good enough just like she is? Why would fut. ex threaten his ex wife with "calling "DAD""to see what he would have to say about her not wanting to get her temple recommend renewed till she answered these questions? There are so many more stories I could share, I'm sure others have even better ones than that...but that's mine or at least part of mine...WOMEN are important....Mom's are important....Mom's who choose to have a career are important, Mom's who choose to stay at home with their kids are important...every woman that gives up one dream for a self important "RIGHTEOUS" man...is IMPORTANT, even if she is never heard, even once. Stand up for your self, be honest with your self, share your feelings, do what you know is in the highest good for you...first and foremost then take on the rest of your life...DON'T give in...BE who you know you are.
    Mindy

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  4. Oh Mindy, it really breaks my heart to read your story. I hope you're ok now. YAY for women and for women getting an education and living their life the way the want to!

    Much love,

    Rej.

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